happy birthday ish!

my guy ishmail just celebrated his 21st birthday....


he's just not that into you....

i am a die hard twitter user and yesterday the site was a buzz with a trending topic entitled: "he's just not that into you". i can't lie i joined in on the fun and put out a couple ziggers myself. it was fun until i saw one that said " #hesjustnotthatintoyou if its been more than six months and you are just 'good friends'".

this made me a little uncomfortable under my collar because i put up a post not that long ago defending my "situationship" with someone in another state. i think that the post made me uncomfortable because as much as i try to front like i'm happy, i know the truth, i'm really not.
i'm a flesh and blood person like anyone, and like all people my age, i want companionship. i want to be able to say, "yes, such and such is my boyfriend". but i can't. it's been months and i'm still under the title of 'good friend', that's like a figurative kick in the nuts(i don't even have nuts, and it still hurts). i've given up time(travel), money(travel aint cheap), sex, and basically let down all my guards just to prove " HEY I LIKE YOU AND WANT TO BE WITH YOU". with all this i still have gotten nothing in return.

i'm starting to wonder, 'what's the point of staying in this situationship?' i'm tired of allowing myself to be put on the backburner in hopes of being able to say 'i have a signifiant other'. because the honest truth is i have no one...i have someone who talks to me when they feel like it, i have a wonderful fuck when we are together but its so few and far between and i'm staying true to this situation.

im not ashamed to say that i love this guy, but i am ashamed that i am willing to give love and get nothing back in return. i guess its time for me to say goodbye to love. i've done all i could for almost a year, and i'm still just a 'good friend'. i'm tired of being in this by myself...i'll take having no one, rather than having half of a person.


'empire state of mind' at the world series game 2

so i'm a phillies fan, but i can't lie watching alicia and jay perform i wasn't mad when the yanks won game 2. i think my favorite part of their performance was when my niece, l. asia(age 2) started singing right along with them. if i would have been thinking at the time i would have recorded it...maybe i'll play it for her and record it...it was just the cutest.


9 And Pinball : sesame street

i used to love sesame street growing up. learning abc's and how to count was cool, but i was a dumb kid so i was most interested in the pretty colors and music. anyway..i have my goddaught for the weekend and i was looking on the internet for something to hold her two year old attention....i found it to...the sesame street pinball machine. i love it when i was little and i still love it now


happy birthday!!!

its my big sister ashley's 22nd birthday! happy birthday mama have a wonderful day!

follow ashley on twitter:

nasir mazhar spring 2010

i love the nails and the block jewelry....

live from the make-up bag

everybody can't do it. its not a bad thing, but its true, everyone can't wear red lipstick. SORRY LADIES. the darker you are the more clown like you. don't feel bad through, because i personally can't wear a red lip. i tend to gravitate to a nude lip. sometimes it can have a hint of color, but because my lips are naturally a bit pink i don't have to. bronzes, honeys, cocoas they all have worked well for me.

i prefer a very natural look, so if i am wearing make up i want to look like im wearing none at all, i hate foundation because it looks so cakey and fake, so i wear consealer. and even when i do i only place it on my forehead, cheeks and chin. NEVER SMEAR IT ALL OVER YOUR FACE, unless of course your face really needs it...then go ahead.

now you can pull of any eyeshadow, just make sure you are wearing liner and mascara. it would be totally pointless if you didn't. if you're gonna to do something go all the way. but you should really feel free to roam the rainbow and please, NEVER MATCH YOUR EYESHADOW WITH WHAT YOU HAVE ON....its just whack.

blazer shoe sex

so i am a 100% true blue sneaker girl. while i may wear dress shoes and sexy sandals, i have always loved sneakers.my all time foreal favorite shoe would have to be the nike hi top blazer, i don't know exactly why i just know that they are. anyway, the latest pair are really to die for. i am not sure if it is the navy and bone colorways, or if its the removed swoosh. whatever it is i know i need them in my life and for 88 bones they are really my pricing(it pays to be able to wear kid shoes)


what's on your feet?

forgot i had these in my closet. its cold out side and i'm tired of sneakers, dress shoes, and boots. so i'm changing it up(sorry my ankle is a bit ashy). their from naturalizer..comfy, warm and cute...


can i live?

so lately i've been getting approached by members of the opposite sex(and sometimes the same). it seems that to them, my being single is a problem. technically i am a single woman, but i'm involved with someone who i care about deeply and he resides in another state.

i guess it bothers these people that i am staying true to the situation i am in and dealing exclusively with him and only him. in their eyes i need a man(probably them) that i'm with everyday. this bothers me because even though we may not be in the physical together we are in constant conversation with one another and even though we have our issues he truely makes me very happy(and the quagmier act is great when it happens). honestly the fact that he's not in my face daily is good. when we fight we dont have to worry about bumping into each other in public places and causing terrible scenes.

it angers me that my lifestyle is questioned. people that quite frankly, will never get a chance to sniff the panties let alone be able to be in a relationship with me, still feel that they have the right to offer up opinions on the things i do. whomp! where they do that at?

personally if i haven't told you about my life, please dont comment. its not that you're comments cause me grief, they do not, you'll never had that power over me. its really none of your damn business. i had to get that off my chest


a picture is worth a thousand words

*my favorite candy in the whole wide world*

*playing cowboys and indians*

*whats on your feet?*

*kiss for h.r. paperstacks....lmfao*

i had a pretty random day so i decided to document it through picture.....

Going The F*$K Home the mixtape

1. dopeness - lp
2.u can have it all - nick n beans
3.rockie fresh - rockie
4. quarter - sneaker vixen
5.blow up - aon
6.keep it moving - dave coresh
7.this (stefan ponce remix) - dave coresh
8. hip hop crazy -108
9. stick up kid - christine marie
10. move - the rocketeers
11. fuck with me - nick n beans

once again the homie, stefan ponce, puts out a banging mixtape full of chi town artist....good business hun

click here to download playlist

janelle does vogue

bill withers 'grandma's hands'

i haven't talked my grandma since sunday and i was strolling through my imeem playlist and 'grandma's hands popped up. i love this song it always makes me think of my granny....trust, after this post is completed, i'm calling her just to say hi..because i'm a good granddaughter like that.

Grandmas Hands - Bill Withers

todd james for sixpack france

most girls could careless about what guys wear...well i'm an exception to the rules. i love when guys have funny/interesting tee shirts. todd james for sixpack france has released his newest line of shirts. they feature the art of REAS and are currently available in the sixpack france webstore.ummmmm DOPE!!!!

click here to shop sixpack france

twinkle twinkle little jewel

matthew williamsons and swarovski atelier teamed up for the spring and summer 2010, their line includes jewerly and accessories. huge shapes and colors are great, the line actually reminds me of this shirt my mom and aunts had the 90's...colorful and bejweweled...

press on's: the ghosts of fashion's past

in the 80's press on's were the shit, or so says my mama. well dashing diva brought them back for october 31, 2009 better know as halloween. the black press on features a tiny skull and cross bones, and for 10 bones you can purchase them at sephora....now i've never celebrated halloween but i think the idea is cute....and its way cheaper than going to the nail salon and getting a skull and bones on your nails.

click here to purchase them....


what rach rocked....to flat top grill

back in school....i guess

today when i got out of class i decided to go visit my mom at her job. red(her nickname) has been a special education teacher all of my life. like all teachers, she has a class of good intended but sometimes misbehaved students. i honestly enjoy coming to see them, they're like the little brothers and sisters i never asked for but am happy to have.

as i walked into the class i was received with warm hugs and hellos, my mother was sitting at her desk finishing up her lunch when i pulled out a dozen roses and a brightly wrapped box. yesterday was her 49th birthday and we weren't able to spend time with one another. so i knew she would appreciate my suprise.....she did!

as the school day came to a close my mother went to her closet and pulled out a huge bag of candy. apparently most of the kids were being good so she was going to reward them with 'penny candy', what she didn't know was that i was going to dive in to the bag and search for my favorites.... tootsie fruit rolls, dubble bubble bubblegum, starbursts, jolly ranchers and mini snickers. i think i made the other kids jealous because they were allow one piece verses what would seem like my thousands lol...

in all i had a good day and then when i was all said in done i strolled to the gymrooom and helped my mom coach volleyball.....


curls and pearls

this will be the next hair style for the fall.....


the forgotten shoe

so after my morning shower i ran to my closet to find clothes my eyes shifted to a nike box that was collecting dust on a shelf. and found these....

...bam i forgot i bought these and never wore them. i think i'm going to be nice and pass them down to my little cousin maya....

“Space Beach” Collection Winter 09 by BBC/Ice Cream

i love a well dressed man...men who take pride in their appearance are sexy. well BBC/Ice Cream has released the winter 09 collection...very good!!!

gwen stefani's 'ice queens'

i live for the harajuku lover's fragrance line. its so feminine amd playful. the characters on the bottles have been given the cutest make over and they are available for 30 bones at sephora for a limited time....

Nick Walker Moscow TMA Print


smile - lily allen

Smile - Lily Allen

sometimes you just got to shrug and smile