...no one can make you feel inferior without your consent
eleanor roosevelt

happy 60th birthday dad. thanks for your love and support. i love you and know you're watching me. i miss you so much, but you had to go and i'm trying to understand. i love you i love you i love you!

Puma x Kehinde Wiley : Unity Uniforms Portrait Launch

so i haven't really been blogging about anything important as of late. my mind has been everywhere and still nowhere at the same time. so i'm going spit of a couple of things i've been pushing to the back burners of my mind.

• rest in peace daddy. i miss you everyday, but the pain isn't the same hurt i felt. i know you're watching me. i love you. now be good before me and jamila have to come get you and act up(our joke).
• what's done is done. there is no need to wonder about yesterday, just be thankful you got through it mostly unscathed.
• beware of the killer clowns, its about to get warm outside and that means that the clowns are coming to be creeps. ewww can someone put them back in hibernation?
• i need to get my sewing machine fixed asap
• i'm thinking of turning the basement into a studio for my work/show room
• i just want to be blessed
• wait on God to show you what he has in store for you
• all things work for those who love him

a lot of this may seem like a whole lot of nothing but it actually all has some sort of meaning to be. yup had to skim my brain of all the excess things i can't control.

so today is jamila renee wesley aka my baby sister's 19th birthday. geesh with everything going on i knew i had to stop and tell her that i love her! baby sister i'm so proud of you. i'm very sure that mommy, daddy(rip), and brian are so proud of the young lady you're becoming as well.

that girl
stevie wonder

we love you lady. keep your head up!

swahililand
ahmad jamal

amber rose in gotham magazine

right now i'm trying hard not to resent
but from the dawning of my time, your voice has been ever present
holding my hand when i was scared
cuddling me in your arms when i was sick
truth is we weren't as close as we should have been
but there was never a time when you forgot the reese's and the aspirin
tattoos, lip rings, hair colors and cuts
i still know you love me, even if i drove you nuts
twenty years of my life intertwined with yours
the love, the hate, the kisses, and the sores
today i called your phone awaiting some of your witty banter
bet you can't imagine how i felt when you didn't answer
i try not to challenge fate's decision
so all i can do is put my sanity inside my religion
these are a daugther's word to her father
i know through out any pain, your love will take me farther

KANYE WEST "Coldest Winter" Directed by: NABIL "ITUNES link below" from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

at my fathers repast with my younger cousin darien m. orr. this guy is a musical genius, he's one of those guys that if you put an instrument in front him, beautiful music will be made. he played his saxophone at the funeral, he brought tears to many eyes. it was beautiful and heart felt. this guy is going places and i'm excited for his musical career.

"...........brunch-lunch: smoked salmon with mushrooms and scallions. there is a god and he is smiling on this plate."-rach
'horny girls on heavenly food'

'1thing
amerie

"......oh my god this hawiian salad is like a tantric massage for my tastebuds. the fruit, marshmellows, and coconut are having a freaky threesome in my mouth, and my is tongue is luckiest mattress. fawk!"-rach
'horny girls and hawiian salad'

at my father's funeral repast with my older cousin Thomas A. Orr III

les paul guitar tribute
jeff beck, imelda, & darrel
how high is the moon

we'll always love big poppa!



daddy words can't explain how much we will miss you. its crazy our last conversation was so random and i can't even really remember but we talked about but i know i loved every second of it. we were sitting in the hospital and i was busy being concerned about you and you were busy being concerned about me. it hurts that you physically won't be here to hug me or kiss me on the forehead like i'm still two years old, but i know you will be in my heart walking and talking with me everyday. i love you man!

not trying to be wordy or long winded so here it is. my dad is fighting for his life, and this is the hardest thing to deal with. i love you dad, and i need you to pull through. we have had our issues but you have always been my support net and i really am not ready to let you go.

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